Not doing well at all. still.

So. 
I've been playing quite awfully lately, which is extremely frustrating because before I got here I was sounding exaclty how I wanted to sound and I planned on just making progres from there. But then preseason for marching band came and was over just in time for seating auditions for ensembles. Lovely. That part doesn't really matter, though. It just bothers me that everyone thinks this is my best when it is nowhere near what I've played like in the past. I've completely lost my ease of playing in every aspect, tone, articulation, extremeties of all sorts. Oh well. I just have to keep working hard and most importantly, trust what Dr. Hopkins has to say. I bought Dick's extended technique book and a bunch of other standard tone development books and some literature on tone. Hopefully there will be something in these that will make a lightbulb go off. I've been making countless trips to the library to read all the flute magazines and journals and taking out cds and music and books. Right now im reading Quantz's On Playing the Flute, which is somewhat depressing, but interesting nonetheless. 
The more I read on the internet and the more I talk to people, the more I realize that this problem is not specific to me, which makes it easier for me to rest at night because almost nothing depresses me more than when I play the flute badly continuously. I have been so stressed out lately and the only way to move past this hump is to relax and realize that if I just keep plugging along it is impossible for the problem not to fix itself, especially with good instruction. and I think I do have good instruction. In my last lesson Dr. Hopkins became so animated when I did what she wanted correctly and it's so inspiring to have a teacher who truly gets excited over your progress. 
I am going to work my butt off this year and then try and transfer to Indiana. 
Oh my dream...

Well aaaanyways, I absolutely LOVE all the girls in the studio. There are so many freshmen this year, but we all get along sooooo well. I couldn't imagine there ever being any drama...none involving the flute anyway. 

and in closing...I really love the flute. 
I think that's the one thing that saves me every time. I am just really in love with the flute and  music in general. Even when I am frustrated and angry I still love the flute and music still bathes my soul in awesome.  At this point I can see why so many people quit this major, but I am not going to.

I ordered
La Flute De Pan
Variations on a Theme by Rossini
the Faure Sonata 
Baxtresser Orchestral Excerpts
Taffanal and Gaubert 
and Music by French Composers
Making good use of my debit card...
It's alright, though, because I got a 500 dollar music scholarship so I figured I would use it on music!
I can't wait to get this package in the mail.
oh and hooray for 10% discount on fluteworld!

All is well with the flute for me. I think i was overreacting a bit before because i got back on track within a few days.

Goal- Back to normal flute playing by first rehearsal for the pops concert
I have two weeks.